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Posts Tagged ‘humour’

Spanish PM offers state protection to ‘Octopus Paul’ after death threats!

Posted by Admin on July 10, 2010

Fri, Jul 9 11:50 AM

Milan, July 9(ANI): Spanish Prime Minister Jose Zapatero has jokingly offered state protection for Paul, the psychic octopus, who has received death threats from German fans over his World Cup predictions.

Paul, from Aquarium Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany, had predicted the outcome of all six of Germany’s matches, including the 1-0 semi-final loss to Spain, by choosing to eat food from boxes adorned with the flags of Germany and its rivals.

Now Spain’s politicians are worried that some German fans may take their “revenge” on the octopus for their team’s exit.

“I am concerned for the octopus … I am thinking of sending him a protective team,” News.com.au quoted Zapatero, as saying.

Spanish Environment and Fisheries Minister, Elena Espinosa, suggested a moratorium on going after Paul.

“On Monday, I shall be at the European Council of Ministers and I shall be asking for a [fishing] ban on Paul the octopus so the Germans do not eat him,” Elena said.

The threat to Paul’s life has escalated after some sections of the German fans were spotted singing anti-octopus songs.

According to a local newspaper, there have been “a host of comments on Facebook, Twitter … suggesting Paul should be fried, barbecued or turned into a seafood salad or paella”.

“Others wanted to throw him into the shark tank,” the paper added.

Major predictions, which came true in this World Cup, have been in the Germany-England Round of 16 clash and Germany-Argentina quarterfinal game. Paul had chosen Germany’s flag on both the occasions.

If the eight-limbed oracle survives the threats, fans would be thinking twice about dismissing his advice in future. (ANI)

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NEW: Scientists Discover Heaviest Element Yet Known To Man

Posted by Admin on February 18, 2010

The Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv)

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it anatomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with the chemical FRN, governmentium becomes administratium, an element that radiates just as much negative energy as governmentium since it has half as many peons but
twice as many morons.

Scientists continue to search for beneficial properties of governmentium, however after 250 years of testing, the majority of experts recommend governmentium should remain sealed in lead – lined containers, as exposure has proven to be lethal to most life forms.

Lion

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